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Manfred von Karma's GuideManfred von Karma's Step-by-Step Guide to Being a Psychotic Dick
1. Become the greatest prosecutor the world has ever known.
2. Maintain a perfect record for 25 years.
3. Get caught presenting forged evidence in court by uppity defense attorney.
4. Stroll by courthouse elevator after an earthquake and get shot by aforementioned defense attorney's 9 year old son.
5. Let out soul-shattering scream that will haunt said boy's nightmares for years to come.
6. Open elevator doors and see defense attorney lying unconcious.
7. Bust a cap up his ass.
8. Take 6 month vacation while waiting for gunshot wound to heal.
9. Adopt defense attorney's now-orphaned son.
10. Raise him to be a fellow prosecuting asshole.
11. Set up elaborate plan and have him framed for murder.
12. Take role of prosecutor for his case to make sure he fries.
13. Steal condeming evidence from his defense attourney be tazering him and his assistant.
14. Get caught anyways.
15. Bang head against wall repeatedly.
All Here For A ReasonI turned onto a shady, well-manicured driveway that, for all intents and purposes, looked harmless enough. Maple trees lined both sides of the street, and a parade of Canadian geese marched across the road to a wide duck pond with a flamboyant fountain. There were blooming crepe myrtles and rose-of-sharons, and as I grew closer to my destination, neatly trimmed gardens with neatly trimmed bushes.
I stopped to let the geese pass. They looked at me; one hissed. I honked my horn and moved around them.
At the end of the road sat a collection of grayish buildings and a number of signs directing me to the appropriate parking lot. "Welcome to Ten Creeks Hospital," said one of them. "Please enjoy your stay." I parked in the visitor's lot. Surely I wouldn't be staying.
I was shaking when I got out of my car. I had spent the morning getting high. One foot in front of the other, flip-flop noises, hot sidewalk. Mulberry and magnolia trees, freshly shaved grass. A bench and pan for smokers. A set o
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